What is Child-To-Parent Violence? 

Child to Parent Violence (CPV) is a pattern of physical, psychological and emotional behaviour seen in children and adolescents who find it difficult to regulate their feelings in other ways and/or feel a great need to gain control over their parent/s or carers. 

Parents may experience physical abuse or violence from their child, which can cause both the parent and child significant distress and potential harm. It can happen at any age, and perhaps particularly during adolescence. CPV is sometimes called CAPA (child to parent violence and abuse).

CPV is different to what we might term 'healthy anger', for example when children might start to challenge a parents authority and test boundaries. In those circumstances, parents should feel physically safe when talking with their child. CPV relates more to when a parents starts to feel fearful for their safety during those conversations or arguments. 

 

Is Child-To-Parent Violence about Parenting? 

It can be easy to label CPV as a parenting issue. But it is important to keep a wider reflective stance, to think about why the disregulation is happening for the child, what the behaviour is trying to communicate, as well as considering strategies to support de-escalating the conflict and co-regulation for the parent and child together. 

In some cases, the violence might also be profoundly traumatising or re-traumatising for the parent due to their own lived experience, which will affect their response to the situation.  There may be extra-familial challenges (outside the family home) that are affecting the child's violent behaviour inside the home.

This is why child-on-parent violence is not just a parenting issue, but a systemic issue. 

Here is some more information about CPV, including a link to a podcast about it

https://www.communitycare.co.uk/2019/11/07/child-parent-violence-abuse-new-podcast/

This booklet from Research in Practice can also help you think about Violence in Young Peoples Relationships.

 

Non-Violent Resistance

Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) is a technique designed to support parents to manage violence or abuse by their child. The Tavi run NVR groups for parents to explore non-violent methods for resisting physical conflict or violence from their child, to help de-escalate conflict, manage parental presence and rebuild relationships, but also taking a firm stand against any violent acts.

NVR is effective in improving the behavior in a large percentage of young people and also reduces parents’ feelings of helplessness, raises their confidence, and can improve parental mental health.

You can find more information and factsheets about NVR here 

http://oxleas.nhs.uk/advice-and-guidance/children-and-young-peoples-services/nvr/

you can also watch a short video about NVR here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcVev7mKpmA

And here are the slides from our NVR webinar with Dr Vicky Lidchi from the Tavistock and Portman

 

NVR Groups and Programmes in Camden

Here is a brochure for the Tavi NVR Groups

and here is the NVR Referral Form

 

Safety Planning

When you are working with a family experiencing CPV, you may need to consider doing a safety plan with the parent/s and/or the child and/or their siblings to help them feel prepared in the event of a situation where they don't feel physically safe. You can find guidance on preparing safety plans with children and parents in the Safety Planning tab on the left or click this link. https://ascpractice.camden.gov.uk/early-help-guide/family-early-help-covid-guidebook/conflict-or-violence-in-the-home/safety-planning/#main

 

Where Can I find Out More or Get Ideas for Helping a Family Experiencing CPV?

There are a number of family workers trained in NVR (Sherifa and Jo in TT, and Amber, Megan, Chris, Sajna and Naz in FIF) who can help you think through a dilemma about CPV, or reflect on strategies you could use to support a family experiencing CPV.

You could also contact our CAMHs and Tavi friends (Trini Navarro in TT or Vicky Lidchi or Kate O'Brien in the CAMHs whole family team, all are on Outlook). 

And remember our incredible colleagues in Camden Safety Net who are highly skilled and knowledgeable in understanding and responding to domestic violence, and would be able to give you advice and guidance. Contact Caitriona Scanlan, Afua Adjei, Deborah Edwards or Rebecca Lee (on Outlook)

This booklet from South Tyneside also contains some useful ideas.